You hear the phrase "Once-shame on them, twice-shame on them, three times-shame on you!!!!!"
Shame on me for trusting the wrong people; and shame on me for thinking that a conversation would stay private.
Shame on me for someone taking me at my word; and remembering that RSD has no cure, only treatment, only hope and prayers that thingsss will improve. Shame on me for thinking that my family would remember that I don't sleep well; and sometime for days at a time!!!
Shame on me for believing that any member of my family could believe my pain is actually real!
Shame on me for trusting any of them at any point in time.
They deserve what they get; they'll get what's coming to them; of that I must have faith!!!!!
I want to say I hate the whole lot of thhhem, but I don't. I just hope they don't ever get something like RSD.......
I pity them, feel sorry for them, and pray for them... but I am about, except Lisa, surprisingly, to cut the whole lot of them off--they're about to drive me nuts with the hypocrisy.
I can't trust my brother to go running to my mother...who makes my life hell now that she's retired and got nothing else to do; and I want to scream; I wasn't 100% sure I could trust him, and now I amm 1000% sure I can't. And it hurts--my big bro is supposed to protect me, watch out for me, and and I should be able to trust him....
But my heart hurts, feels broken in two that I can't tell him something, without it making it's way to her hurtful, angry, horror--stricken heart...her heart is so cold, like ice...
It's so sad; someone had to have hurt her bad to make her this way.....
But shame on me for trusting her hurtful heart....her angry, hateful, borderline, narcissistic heart...it is what it is.
I know better next time.
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