An Unwelcome Visitor

You are my unwelcome visitor,
Like a party guest who won't leave
Only you are so much worse
You come in and in one stroke,
Cause so much suffering, so much agony,
So much heartache, so much damage...
Living with you every day is a living hell.

No one wants you around,
The life I do have you are najubgy miserable.
A torturous, living, nightmarish living hell.

You stalk your victim like a wolf stalks its prey.
But at least the prey knows where to hide.
You are with me every minute
Of every hour
Of every day.
Now diagnosed with RSD,
I know you're not going away...

Going to hell is where you belong,
I want you to leave me alone dammit!
I deserve a LIFE!!!
You feed on people,
their negative feelings,
and that is how you survive,
how you grow and how you thrive!

You are worse than a parasite,
but smaller than a tick.
No one can see you,
Until you have deccimated their lives......
You are the perpetual thief,
You take everything away from someone,
Life, freedom, and a sense of peace...
You have solen my selse of well-being,
My ability to even so much
as get a peaceful slumber
It feels like I am forever your prisoner
Your servant and your slave.

I used to love and enjoy my life.
I was happy, satisfied, productive, and free.
You have stolen it all from me.

And with "malice and forethoughought"
as the CJS says
Like the murderer you are!
Oh, don't you remember Eric?
The tears his mother still weeps?
The memories of him we all have.
Eric before the pain and RSD.
Eric after the pain and RSD.
A different man. And different FATHER.
You crush a person's sense of hope
You steal their spirit. Their zest for life.
Their desire to live, and hope that something will help..
Eric drove away his wife; she divorced him;
begged him to come and see his girls
He refused, didn't want them to "see him that way."
He drove away his friends,
leaving him with only one,
who's help he also refused.

I could let myself fall into your deadly grasp.
Think that if I had to stay in that life
for the next 20 year, 40 years,
However long I might have, that,
Well, I might well put a bullet in my brain now
Because what you have stolen is hope.

But you can't have mine.
If I have to close my eyes and talk out loud to Him
I will, I will not, however, let you steal the ONE thing
that has gotten me through the medical HELL I have
been through...the MRSA, the sepsis from it,
The bowel resection from gangrenous bowel,
the poison that floated through my blood both times.
Both times I lay in the ICU, my temperature higher
than I care to think about.
and the damage it did too my body.

But I survived BOTH TIMES.

And although it's been longer than I've showered
than I care to think about, I won't let this
defeat me, I won't let let this beat me.
Though it feels like my
skin is being burned off
as soon as water of
ANY temperature (cold, tepid, or hot),
I will grit my teeth and get through it.

Because I do not allow in
an Unwelcome visitor.

Go away, get out,
you are not welcome here.

I have two huge Rottweilers
that can make it to the fence
in under 4 seconds......
the last dummy who tried to beat them
got 55 stitches.

How fast can YOU run???